Tonight, I will be sharing something with you based on my own experience. Although, I am not currently in a committed relationship for over many years now and I don't even want to but am also basing this off of my parents' experience as well.
Now, let's get some things clear, "dating" and "being in a relationship" are both about getting to know the person. But it is very different when you are casually dating versus when you are in a committed relationship. Many of us don't know that these two concepts are two different things, I mean, they mean different things.
When you are casually dating, you are focused on the "here and now." You're learning about the other person's personality, whether you are having fun, what you are doing together, and whether you want to see this person again in the nearby future. Dating is a part of the human marital race in which two different personality meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, I mean, "BEYOND THE LEVEL OF FRIENDSHIP" or with the sole aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage.
Sometimes ago, probably last year, I publish an article I tiled "The Difference between Dating and Courtship" you can get the write-up at goo.gl/RUzRjo. It can be a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by the couples.
Some people who casually date are into the hook-up scene. If two people hook-up right away, the chances of a relationship developing could diminish. But it all depends on intention: does either person want to be "exclusive" or "committed"? If only one person wants a commitment, then in all likelihood somebody will end things - either because someone wants somebody who will commit, or someone wants to avoid the commitment.
But if two people are dating and enjoying each other's company, and both are thinking of being more exclusive, then eventually they will have "the talk": Will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend/etc.?
So what happens when you are in a relationship? You make the time and the effort to see each other. Even if you two live far away, you set plans, and you commit to them. You laugh. You cry. You share all your weird quirks, all your vulnerabilities, your family, your friends, everything. The more you share, and the more time you spend together, you are always considering: "Do I want to spend my time, my effort, my life with this person?"
Sooner or later, you two will fight. Some fights are small fights, some fights are big fights. The fights are the most important factor in whether a relationship will last or not.
Do you know Why?
Firstly, it's only healthy for a couple to fight every once in a while. You need to air your grievances. It's not healthy to bottle them up. But how you two fight will determine whether your relationship is strong enough to last.
Do you two yell or Cuss? Insult each other? Blame fault on the other? Or...do you state the problem? Explain how you are feeling? Are you willing to apologize for where you have wronged, and as willingly able to forgive your partner? Fighting issues together rather than against each other brings you two even closer together.
Two people causally dating are most likely not ready to handle problems and arguments in a way that can strengthen their bond, although if they can it may help them realize how strong they are together.
I want to say this, early dating should be fun though. It's the rare chance to open up and be with each other in a way that is relatively stress-free and enjoyable, without any strings attached.
Like we all know, relationships grow with time, and with time require a renewed sense of commitment, love, trust, and intimacy, or they can wither and die. Too many fights that tear a couple apart are toxic to the very nature of the relationship.
As a round off note and advise,
"A person should stand by his/her partner, not against."
I have not changed....
I have a name.....
I am yet to find one with the combination...
Call me.....
Rauf Kazeem Isaac
(C) March, 2016
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
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